fathers

I will be seeing my father - and brother and sister and most of their families - later today.

And what a change from Fathers Day 2 years ago - just a few weeks after my mother died.

Then my father was like a lost thing. Broken down by grief and loss and a year's caring, watching and waiting.

Two years on I know he misses her every day, like a lost limb which surely no-one forgets or ceases to regret.

But he lives every day fully and enjoys the living.

He goes to classes - art and history. He visits friends, makes plans, goes dancing. He is involved in his local church. He cooks "proper" meals for himself and sometimes for friends. He has a new friend - widowed a few years before my mother died - and they spend weekends together, go to the theatre, exhibitions, walking - and dancing. I never thought my father would dance again and the thought fills me with joy as well as tears.

Last time I saw him, staying over in his new flat, helping to select and hang some pictures, we went for a wonderful walk through bright sunshine and cool dappley shaded hedgerows in the local sussex countryside.


He was testing and timing the walk as a possible outing for the bereavement support group he has started in his local town.

I love him so much and I am very proud of him.

the best of Fathers Days.