Sunday, June 21, 2009


I will be seeing my father - and brother and sister and most of their families - later today.

And what a change from Fathers Day 2 years ago - just a few weeks after my mother died.
Then my father was like a lost thing. Broken down by grief and loss and a year's caring, watching and waiting.

Two years on I know he misses her every day, like a lost limb which surely no-one forgets or ceases to regret.
But he lives every day fully and enjoys the living.

He goes to classes - art and history. He visits friends, makes plans, goes dancing. He is involved in his local church. He cooks "proper" meals for himself and sometimes for friends. He has a new friend - widowed a few years before my mother died - and they spend weekends together, go to the theatre, exhibitions, walking - and dancing. I never thought my father would dance again and the thought fills me with joy as well as tears.

Last time I saw him, staying over in his new flat, helping to select and hang some pictures, we went for a wonderful walk through bright sunshine and cool dappley shaded hedgerows in the local sussex countryside.

He was testing and timing the walk as a possible outing for the bereavement support group he has started in his local town.

I love him so much and I am very proud of him.
the best of Fathers Days.


Lynne said...

Happy Father's Day, Letty's Dad! It takes a strong person to get on with life after losing a life partner.
Sweet photos. Treasure him, Letty! (I know you do.) I've been dreaming about my own father lately, gone ten years now ...

P.S. I passed the Red Apple Rest the other day and there is a For Sale/Lease sign up. So ... nothing yet ...

Coffee Messiah said...


My best to your Dad and family!


Akelamalu said...

I remember how folorn my Dad was when my Mum passed. It took him a while but he did eventually get his life back together. Now, 20 years later, at the age of 84 he is out 3 days a week to various places playing whist or bridge and the other days he spend cultivating his garden. It's such a relief when they pick themselves up isn't it Lettie?

mum said...

Best to your dad and to you, Lettuce. Have a great day.

ArtSparker said...

Very sweet post, and the accompanying photos also speak volumes. Hope you have a lovely day at the gathering.

Robert said...

Happy Father's Day to your dad, Sally!! I wish him the best of health and happiness!!!

xo, r

Barbara said...

What a sweet tribute to your father. I'm so glad you can revel in his happiness with someone other than your mother. Everyone deserves to have a best friend, no matter how old!

Betty said...

Lovely post xx

Gary said...

Wonderful news that your dad is doing so well and that you take the time to celebrate him.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Oh what a wonderful post, Lettuce - what a wonderful testimony to your dad. I hope you shared a wonderful father's day together! xx

Steve said...

What a dad! :)

Shammickite said...

I am sure that your Dad enjoyed his Father's Day, how could he not? He has you, he has the rest of his family, he has a new friend to dance with, his art, his church, and he has new life experiences to look forward to. I'm sure your Mum would be thrilled to know that he is moving onwards. Great stuff, Dad! Hugs to you, and to you too Letty!

herhimnbryn said...

A touching tribute to your Pa, Lettuce.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

such a beautiful post. next time you see your pa, give him an extra hug for me!

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