Saturday, October 21, 2006

Home alone

Two almost-whole days, an evening and night to myself!

This doesn't often happen to me. Its much more common for M. to be left at home whilst LG and I visit elsewhere.

All of my family - except me - will be visiting my parents this weekend. I have a cold and can't risk passing on infection to my mother. So I'm staying home. Alone.

With such mixed feelings.

I know my mother (and father, of course) will miss me. Not because I'm particularly special, but because we are all special to them, anyone missing would leave a gap. I will want to be there tomorrow, when the whole family gathers. Having a good time and being together and inevitably wondering if this will be the last time.

After a few weeks of increased pain and problems, my mother is a bit better now after changes to her meds. So after a growing dread that this was the beginning of the very end, she is now back a bit more on the side of the living. Not quite on level ground, but she's not speeding too fast down the hill away from us just yet.

But I will also be so glad of the time here alone. Cherishing the silence, the lack of demand, expectation, reaction, effort.

It will be strange.


Molly Bloom said...

Oh, I can relate to that. I don't think I've had the place to myself for 15 years. I love the silence sometimes and even though I am a people person, I do love my own company sometimes. Ah, bliss.

I love that painting. I can just imagine that on your wall. I'm very jealous of your hallway. I'd like that cupboardy thing that is there. It just feels like coming home. I love your house. Can I have it please? You've inspired me...I think I might go and get some stuff for the house today.

Have a lovely weekend and hopefully see you next week some time! Enjoy the freedom! Yay!

Donna said...

Try and do something lovely with this time Lettuce. I know it must be painful for you not to be with your mum at this time, every moment with her must be precious, but you are so thoughtful not to want to pass on your cold.

Looking forward to seeing you soon :-)

Anonymous said...

I know it must be mixed emotions when every moment with your Mum is so precious, but time alone??
Wow! - I love that!

Hope your cold gets better... need a beer soon! :O) x

Anonymous said...

Just enjoy your 'me time'...I have it every 2nd week and I have gotten so used to it that I can't imagine not having it anymore.

Today I found an awesome little telephone table in teak, with a marble top ...for 12 euros..very dusty and neglected, it was hidden at the very back of the shop....lovely carvings on it..cannot wait to tart it up!

I actually went into the shop looking for a black velvet jacket but couldn't find a sufficiently shabby, but well-cut, one...then later, when I fetched Nathan from Scouts I saw a woman wearing just the jacket I coveted..with a row of buttons from the cuff to the elbow...beautiful..and a fantastic nipped in waist...just gorgeous..I wanted to rip it off her back.

Now - get out the wine, settle down with a good book, movie or hobby and enjoy.

Calamity Tat said...

Oh don't look at me don't look at me I'm only commenting.....

Have a fab relaxed weekend Letty you deserve it...

Anonymous said...

Oh look at that... Tat's here! :O)x

trac said...

I think I've been following you about today! You sneaked into AGAP while I was doing a post and then I nipped into visit other people and there you were and I just missed you! :O)x

grumpy old woman said...

Oh, I commented last night but it's not here. I just said that I hope you are following the advice of your fellow bloggers and are having a pampering, relaxing weekend? xxxx

Pod said...

eat something more than just lettuce and shout a lot whilst nobody can hear you. get it all off your chest. toodle pip!

Bird said...

down time to readjust. take it. enjoy it. use it.

i think of a deep bath with lavendar bubbles.

i think of the solitude of you in your garden.

i imagine you might curl up on a couch with a comforter and tea and quiet and your own thoughts - fears and hopes. a time to just be with those.

thinking of you. and of yours.

Anonymous said...

Hope you're having a lovely time sweetie. You're awfully quiet :-/

Molly Bloom said...

I went to a shop called 'Radio Days' and found the most perfect 1950s tin to put my buttons in. It's got little poodly beings on it. I knew that you would approve, so I got it. I really enjoyed pouring all of your buttons in and then adding mine. It was a symbolic moment. Thankyou so much. You would love that shop. Fantastic - it's near Waterloo. We'll have to go there some time. But your bargains are much better. I shall get going on the skirt soon.

Molly Bloom said...

It's here if you want to have a peep: