PMS

My daughter's (new) secondary school abbreviates its name - in school letters, publications, logo etc. - as PMS.

Unfortunate, you might say, especially as it is an all- girls' secondary school.

LG doesn't find it amusing, though I still sometimes smirk. Only on the inside of course.

(though she did comment on posters around the school last term, for visiting prospective students, saying "Welcome to PMS".
Her comment was "Yes, bloody well Tell me about it!")


And she has been suffering so recently.

She knew what to expect with puberty, periods, all that and is pretty much okay about it, we've always been honest and matter-of-fact about it all.

but.....

..... my conversations with her on this topic, over the years, have never been entirely open and honest when it comes to the question of PAIN.

Pain and Other Symptoms.

Why worry her, hopefully unnecessarily, I thought?

I suffered so much as a teenager - and into my twenties. (though by then, I could have whisky to help) (and it did/does).

My mother frequently had to come and pick me up from school, where I would be miserably doubled up in pain and often vomiting too in the sick room. The doctor prescribed some too-strong pain killers, and something else to stop me throwing up but I don't remember anything helping very much.

My mother tried traditional recipes which involved peppermint oil. Not successful, so far as I remember. Though I think the traditional East-end of London version included whisky, which could, of course, have helped.

It was miserable.

And of course, the less said the better about the brick-like sanitary items available at the time, and those itchy baggy saggy elastic belts....

..... sorry.

Less said would have been better.
So Much Better.

I don't remember suffering from other symptoms particularly, though maybe it would be more appropriate for my family to comment on any other delights which might have accompanied all this. I did go through a phase in my 20s of being very clumsy and breaking things a lot when I was pre-menstrual.

Anyway, in my 20s I discovered whisky.
I have been known to drink whisky from the bottle in a brown paper bag, in the street. Purely medicinal, of course.

In my 30s I discovered really good, expensive whisky.
Vintage, single malt only for me please.

And then I had LG and things improved a lot.
For a while.
Before the peri-menopausal (thats PERI-) mood swings, sleeplessness, anxiety, bad temper....... (one website oh-so-helpfully lists 35 possible symptoms of menopause)

(THIRTY BLOODY FIVE)

Now, thats just silly.



And the thing thats been making me laugh and wince equally of late is the tendency to ascribe an ever-growing range of symptoms to these wretched biological processes.

"My skin is really dry and itchy, I can't stop scratching". "Oh, that could be your period - hormonal changes can affect your skin".

"I can't get to sleep". "Maybe you are pre-menstrual? that can cause sleeplessness".

"I can't eat any more, I feel really bloated." "Well, your body retains water when you are menstruating - that could be why".

"My tummys really upset at the moment." "Oh, I usually get that when I have my period."

"Is it me or is it really hot in here?".....



Maybe Shulamith Firestone had a point - this biology is pretty barbaric at times.


At any time of the month, one of us likely to be hormonally unstable.
Maybe that explains why one of our computers keeps crashing?


I blame the phases of the moon.