I feel the need to vent a bit and may or may not publish this...
Work is pants.
So much in my life has grown and improved over recent years, but work steadily becomes more and more difficult and stressful.
We have a fairly new manager who was, no doubt, brought in with a mandate to be ruthless, to cut back, shake up, make hard decisions, get us into leaner meaner shape.
(after all, isn't that what education is about? being lean and mean...?)
She seems to be following a slash and burn policy, bludgeoning through controversial changes with little (or no) consultation, with too little time to allow for thought or reaction and with no sign of concern for the wellbeing of her staff i.e. us.
Everyone in my section of the institution is stressed, confused, anxious, angry, feeling powerless, undervalued, unable to make even minor predictions about the near future and fatigued. What constitutes a "normal" workload seems to have doubled over night. A low-level but persistent air of panic and paranoia lurks in the corridors.
Good management, huh?
When I'm in the classroom and/or with students I am happy, I love my work. My classes are going well, a lot of students are enthusiastic, engaged, learning... My job is worthwhile and I know I am good at it.
As soon as I begin the walk across to my office, I'm back down into the grim and uncertain reality. The total pants-ness of it all.
I wish I was in a different job.
I wish I was 10 years older and could think about - and possibly afford - early retirement.
And I do not wish to be wishing these things.
Oh for a job - even a boring job, a difficult job - where I could do my hours, shut the door to leave and go home with no work-related thoughts or responsibility in my head.
Its not easy, amidst all this, to keep a balance, to remember to breathe. On the whole I'm not doing too badly, though its hard to keep my mind from constantly returning to it, but I am angry, despondent and very weary of it all.
I see my Mission, for the weeks and months ahead, should I choose to accept it, as a mission to be as preoccupied as possible with Living Life.
I'm a tasks-oriented kind of person.
If I can focus on family, friends, textiles projects, decorating the dining room (begun last.... um.... June...), getting back to swimmingyogacyclingwalking, photography, blogging, gardening as the weather gets better
work pants will have less power to discomfit and I'll be better able to take them off at the end of the day and just leave them
on the floor
under a chair
maybe logan will even carry them off and hide them?
Sorry for the rant.
Here is a picture of the lovely Logan who certainly wouldn't let work pants - or any kind of pants - discomfit him.
Exit Post Coming Soon
11 months ago