Saturday, December 08, 2007


Well apparently this is the latest Christmas trend:

I feel neither impressed nor inspired.

There are those who claim that this is some medieval custom, the shape representing the Trinity or the crucified Christ. There are those who claim that the medieval symbolism was that the tree ('right' way up) points to heaven. There are those who claim that its all Prince Albert's fault.

Anyway, we wont be inverting our Christmas tree this year. Not for No One.

Even if it does make even more space for even more presents underneath.
Which, I suppose, we are meant to assume is the whole point of it all.


I've not given any thought at all to Christmas cards this year. And I'm tempted to just not bother. But there are people I am pleased to hear from, even if its just once a year - and I would hope, I suppose, that its mutual. And there are some people who, for various reasons, I couldn't not send a card.
And we have just bought a new printer and can, once again, print in colour. So maybe I will make my own cards again this year, as I always used to do. In the good old days.

Except that its already the 8th, and I've got no further than these indecisive musings...


This made me larf however.
For those of you not from round our way, the "idiom" of this dialogue - though not the accent - is part of contemporary english yoof culture/street slang.


Molly Bloom said...

Ooh, I'm first. Sorry I haven't replied as I'm off sick again. :(
Same thing as before, but even worse. Argh.

Just loved your posts - just been looking at all the lovely pictures and thinking about the 'big sky' as la bush calls it. It reminds me of home and makes me want to go there. Look at all that lovely green. I hope Lucy was well. I really miss her and wish I could give you and her a big hug right now. Can't bear this pain and nothing will touch it. 9 days of it so far. Oh well, perhaps it will go soon.

Look at all those things at the bottom too - all those things that people drop and discard. It makes for a brilliant montage though. I often wonder what the strips of tapes have on them when they dangle from trees and stuff and we always say that if you joined them together it would be a message from aliens. However, I did read recently that there is a web-site devoted to abandoned tape and these people actually do join them together to see if they can make new sounds. How cool is that? I suppose that's what you've done by making art, joining lost images together. How cool. I love montage. I love the joining of images that are disparate to make something new. That's cheered me up looking at those pictures.

I often look at those St Alfege faces too. I'd love to make a film of little faces like that. I love the way their faces are worn away, just like humans really. Mouths tightened, noses losing their definition. Smoothed off, faced out.

Hopefully will be back on top form soon. Sorry for being so rubbish.

Molly Bloom said...

I just put your button bauble on the tree and it brought a lump to my throat. Each bauble brings meaning. Reminds me of people I love.

lettuce said...

hey Molly, i'm so happy to see you here! But will you STOP apologising! you are not at all rubbish, you are wonderful and I'm so so sorry you're sick again.


I was thinking about those button baubles too in the week. haven't got our tree yes, inverted or otherwise!
off right now to email you. xx

Trac said...

Awwwww - Molly!!!

How lovely to see you here.
Always lovely - certainly never rubbish!


Inverted trees indeed! - S'pose it could be useful if the needles fell up to ceiling!?


Akelamalu said...

Inverted Christmas Tree - NEVER!!

Love the clip - it had me in stitches. :)

Chick said...

Upside down trees? No, shouldn't be done...up is not down & down is not up...or is it?

Dumdad said...

Aaaargh! You've reminded me I haven't done my Xmas cards yet. Sometimes I think - "oh sod the lot of them I shan't send any cards!" But I think again and I know I enjoy receiving cards. And more so as I'm abroad. So I'll get down to it soon.

Enjoyed the clip, thanks.

Travis Erwin said...

I agree the upside down tree jsut seems crazy to me. Jsut found your blog today. Good stuff. I'll check back later and read some more.

But I'm not sure about your blog handle. You se I'm jsut this side of being a carnivore and one of my personal mottos is -- Lettuce is the Devil. No offense to you intended.

Queenie said...

I blame Prince Albert, just ask Vicky!!!

d. chedwick bryant said...

If you invert your tree, Santa comes in through the sewer pipes instead of the chimney. Not so good.

Shelly Lowenkopf said...

Actually, it was George W. Bush who said of inverted Christmas trees that now no Democrats could be found hiding under 'em as they had in the past. A transparent Christmas to all.

Lynne said...

well, I certainly don't want a BUSH of any kind hiding under under MY tree. Most certainly not the George W. kind. He probably has an inverted tree ... among other things.

Our tree is up, lights on but nothing else ... outside light lit up tonight and covered in ICE from our freezing rain ... xmas cards bought but not sent ... ahhh, tis the season for ...


Anonymous said...

That picture of the tree is making me feel quite ill.

Reya Mellicker said...

British humor is completely opaque to me. I suspect there's something about Hugh Grant's accent or inflection or something that makes him so repulsive to Pod. We listen to accents here in America, but to us, they're all "cute" or something like that. They don't mean anything.

At the talent show at British witch camp, many participants performed monologues that apparently where hilarious, but I never understood why. I asked some of my students but the only thing they could explain was that the monologists were being self deprecating.

Huh?? There are so many cultural differences between us. I'm baffled by it, and I love it, too.

The inverted tree reminds me of the kabbalah, pictured upright but "actually" inverted. Our tree is right side up, just as it should be.

Steve said...

I saw what I thought was an inverted tree this morning in a restaurant -- I thought, Wow, I've never seen THAT before. Then I got closer and saw it was just a clever arrangement in a vase, festooned with lights.

But now I'm seeing, on your blog, ACTUAL inverted trees.

The coincidence of this blows my mind.

Donna said...

I saw these ridiculous trees in the John Lewis catalogue and wondered 'have we all become so bored with life that we now have to have upsidedown Christmas Trees?!' Not for me thanks!

Ex-Shammickite said...

Upside down Christmas trees? You gotta be kiddin'!
Next thing it'll be upside down Santas, and sideways Christmas cakes, and inside out Christmas stockings, what a load of codswallop!
There's something infinitely wrong with todays Christmas celebrations methinks.

Mark said...

Hi Lettuce,
I've seen the upside down ones and I'm not sure about them and I dint think you can blame prince Albert for them as being well know for one thing is more than enough for anybody. I have seen lots of black and brown ones, I suppose they are a bit arty but you can't beat a good old green one.

Ho Ho Ho


Lee's River/Zlatovyek said...

lettuce: i had been promising myself that, when I finally got re-connected to the internet, yours was one of the blogs I would drop by and visit. The day has arrived. I love your blog. And I will be back!

Hubert said...

I totally totally love your blog.

lettuce said...

hahaha Trac. We're still finding needles from last year.... no, really!

No, Ake, never.
And No, Chick, never!

DD, just read your blog. Well done. I've made some cards..... next step I guess is to write some ...

hello travis. I'm sorry, I can't agree with you. Meat is good, so too is lettuce.

lol queenie.

ched, that is a most unpleasant thought.

haha Shelly. is that true?

lynne - i should stop procrastinating i know. i just keep putting it off. :o)

sorry jess. will post something different soon.

reya i love cultural differences in humour, so fascinating.

ah well Steve, i have read somewhere that we have you americans to blame for this ridiculous trend... so maybe not so coincidental as all that

donna, you're probably right, it must be indicative of something

shammie, codswallop is such a good word. And nicely used in this context.

ho ho ho mark. (so what was that one thing?.....)

zlatovyek (or Lee?) you sound as if you know me. Do I know you? hello anyway! and welcome. and thanks. and good!

and thanks hubert, and hello. Love your name.

la bellina mammina said...

I'm so slack on cards this year!

Funny clip!!!!

Joyce said...

did I hear someone say :"button bauble"?! How delightful!

The inverted tree: Nasty.

Malc said...

You're joking about the tree thing, right? I hope. German friends tell me that the tree decoration is an old medieval tradition there. I understand Prince Albert made it fashionable over here.

lettuce said...

bella i think slackness is sometimes not a bad thing ;op

joyce, if i see any more i will send you one. Nasty indeed.

malc I regret to say that its not a joke.

Pod said...

i'm sure i left a comment here....maybe the greyness took that too? i keep telling molly to stop apologising too. stop molly...there is no need! we know we know!
big love and big sky to all